I WISH

As a citizen of this music- loving nation, I wish Performing Musician Association of Nigeria (PMAN) is better organized and I’m its President for 365 days only.

I wish I can get my hands on all the keys and padlocks to every digital recording studios in Nigeria. I wish I can screen at the door every of the so- called musical youth rushing in and out of the studios with the so -called brand new hit single/s or album.

Oh, I wish all these current hit-wonders-on-CDs are truly worth the star- status or the multimillion naira performance fee per show of less than 30 minutes of Monkeying Around on stage!

I wish from the glorified songbirds on CDs to the media-hyped “award-winning producers” to the baddest band in the land at showtime can replicate the same pure vocal and flawless instrumental qualities live on stage like the indigenous Nigerian bandleaders that today’s media outfits and show organizers and music awards’ facilitators have relegated to the roadside bars,street corners and Owanbe events.

I wish most fans of today’s reigning artistes are fully aware that their favorite vocal recording and performing stars that released one or two or more of the so-called hit songs in the recent past are pure vocal misfits; suffers chronic sore throat in the vocal booth and thus dependent on their producers vocal gimmick machine known as Vocoder or Auto-tune; the two respective software gadgets created by man to transform the voice/vocal of the poorest vocalist be it a female frog, monkey, chimpanzee, donkey, gorilla or baboon into an instant canary, nightingale or a respected songbird. Unfortunately, almost  all the young generation music acts in Nigeria today with bias for Hip-Hop, Dancehall, R&B/Soul, Pop and such foreign music genres are guilty of being Auto-tuned vocal junkies!

Meaning?

I wish today’s music listeners, record buyers and concert-goers in Nigeria hereon will shine their eyes and clean out their ears and purge themselves off of the studio-made songbirds that’s littered the Nigeria music landscape = the con artistes behind the popular tracks enveloping the airwaves and live with the reality and the stinging truth that over 90% of the present hit-wonders on the compact discs today CANNOT  PERFORM their respective HIT tracks with the same contagious beats and flawless VOCAL  FOR straight SEVEN MINUTES without halfway catching the strange Miming Flu that makes live music purists everywhere so sick and so vexed some of our over-rated chartbusters to the over-played, over-celebrated and, over-paid hit-wonders on audios CDs can best be described without mincing words as the Monkey Acts of Nigeria (a story for another day).

Moving forward, I wish the live music show organizers in this country can individually or collectively call the bluff of the current Nigeria music industry’s League Of Soundtrack Performers demanding multimillion naira as performance fee per show of less-than-20 minutes of turning up on stage, jumpin’ around, spewin’  saliva into the mic otherwise known as miming on tracks or what some very gullible fans fondly refers to as ‘’Soundtrack Performance’’.

I really wish today’s music concert-goers would stand up, demand for better and quality live vocal performers (onstage) and boo, jeer off of the stage the class of onstage soundtrack mimers.

I wish our annual music awards organizers in Nigeria would stop enlisting the mimers as performing artistes on stage and desist from presenting the plaques or the awards statuettes to the you-know-whos with the popular tracks yet throughout the award year-in-review mimed and mimed and mimed at every live show appearance!